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Love me or not , here I am

01 Feb

Wanders

Published by Ela Hadzic

Sometimes I watched her from a distance, I knew she wasn't there, there where she sat that very moment. Once she told me her favourite place was this bench in a park. She took a train one thursday just to sit there, overwhelmed she cried. At that moment in time I didn't understand why someone would go to so much grief and pain just to be reminded of where she sat next to him. "Its the only place I can feel him" she said. I guessed that's one memory she would like to keep , the conversation she had last had with him was that very place, and the only time in a decade where she truly believed he was honest. Maybe she lied to herself but I could tell that this girl needed this pain to know she is still alive. I have never met anyone more in love with a man she never had or will never have. He must have been so important to her, for her whole life was shaped by this 'love'. I came to a conclusion that , he must have taken away so much of her , he must have hurt her so bad and buried her inside this pain so that  she had lost herself completely, and the only way she can find herself was to feel close to him. So she sits there , still, motionless as her eyes wander and her heart calling the memories which have the missing pieces of who she once was. I cried too in the end , for I knew I would never experience such thing , no two loves are the same. I wandered whether I was envious of her , wanting to just for that moment, feel the love she feels.

Sometimes I watched her from a distance, I knew she wasn't there, there where she sat that very moment. Once she told me her favourite place was this bench in a park. She took a train one thursday just to sit there, overwhelmed she cried. At that moment in time I didn't understand why someone would go to so much grief and pain just to be reminded of where she sat next to him. "Its the only place I can feel him" she said. I guessed that's one memory she would like to keep , the conversation she had last had with him was that very place, and the only time in a decade where she truly believed he was honest. Maybe she lied to herself but I could tell that this girl needed this pain to know she is still alive. I have never met anyone more in love with a man she never had or will never have. He must have been so important to her, for her whole life was shaped by this 'love'. I came to a conclusion that , he must have taken away so much of her , he must have hurt her so bad and buried her inside this pain so that she had lost herself completely, and the only way she can find herself was to feel close to him. So she sits there , still, motionless as her eyes wander and her heart calling the memories which have the missing pieces of who she once was. I cried too in the end , for I knew I would never experience such thing , no two loves are the same. I wandered whether I was envious of her , wanting to just for that moment, feel the love she feels.

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Love me or not , here I am